


Some Victories

by writteninweakness



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dialogue taken from game, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, No Spoilers, at least not as to a certain person's identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 04:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21422128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: Ichika's thoughts as she confronts Zero in Yanagi's route.
Relationships: Hoshino Ichika/Yanagi Aiji
Kudos: 6





	Some Victories

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I played Collar x Malice, which was essentially my first Vita game, I did want to do fic for it. It didn't help that I'd just been working on a detective AU for Amnesia _(Things Lost in the Fire)_ and was very tempted to do a crossover.
> 
> For many reasons, I put that off. One of them being that I just don't seem to know the characters well enough, so I did this partially to explore them. That and there was a prompt that got me thinking about them, too.
> 
> _any, any, We’re in the fire_  
_Sound off the sirens_  
_It’s do or die_ — “Sound Off the Sirens” by Sam Tinnesz

* * *

There’s no time to think. No time to mull on the heartbreak of betrayal.

The man she’d called friend was behind so much death and violence. She didn’t feel like she knew him anymore. She didn’t. She might understand the way his mind worked, what he wanted, and that had led her here, to where he would be, so they could confront him at last, but even that was not enough.

She’d been unprepared for him targeting her chosen partner. Zero had prepared for it, easily shooting the man she loved in an attempt to provoke her into killing him.

She wouldn’t. She couldn’t give him what he wanted, even if he’d hurt Yanagi.

The cathedral was quiet, eerily so, but she felt like she could feel a roar around them, It wouldn’t take much to picture this place in flames. This moment was it, all they had, and she had to act. She couldn’t afford to miss.

He’d already fired two shots, one that grazed Yanagi. Another that just missed.

She wouldn’t miss. She couldn’t. She fired once, hitting his hand and forcing him to drop his gun. She wanted to be relieved, but he just seemed amused.

“Impressive skills.” He reached for his waistband, and she realized he had another weapon concealed there. She fired again, her bullet entering his thigh and causing him to stumble. As soon as he went down, Yanagi was on the move, rushing forward to capture Zero. No hesitation even as more police rushed into the room and it became chaos.

Zero laughed when they ordered him to surrender, putting a gun to his own head. She knew that Yanagi wouldn’t reach him in time to stop him. She aimed again, and when she fired, it hit Zero’s shoulder, allowing Yanagi to catch him.

“It’s over,” Yanagi said, and when he said it, she believed it.

She walked closer to Zero, putting her gun away and taking out her handcuffs. He looked up at her, his expression showing his sadness as she put the cuffs on him.

“From now on, you’ll suffer forever.” He wasn’t fighting now, but he couldn’t stop trying to convince her of the righteousness of his side. “Your heart will be pained at your inability to save people, crushed by the unfair malice in the world, and weighted down in sorrow.”

The silence that fell then was full of bitterness. They’d both failed. She couldn’t bring Zero back from where he’d gone, and he couldn’t get her to take his side as he wanted, as he’d planned.

“It’s impossible to erase all sorrow,” Yanagi said. “No matter how hard it is, or how much they hurt each other, people will always have to bear that burden of sorrow. Still, no man is an island. When the sorrow is too much for us to take, we can support each other.”

She felt a small thrill despite everything, hearing that from the man who’d done his best to push her away. He truly had accepted her and any support she could give him.

“They didn’t have anyone to rely on. The police wouldn’t listen. It was self-defense. There are countless different circumstances.” Yanagi shook his head, and she knew he was remembering his own past again. “But killing is just an excuse. No matter what feelings are driving them, people must always fight against themselves. They have to overcome it on their own.”

She knew he was still locked in that struggle. Every day he fought against what he’d done in the past and what he never wanted to do again. He hadn’t given in. He was living with what he’d done. She admired him for it. She wanted to be right beside him as he did.

“That’s just the rationale of the strong. No matter how much they’re hurt or suffering, they can always face forward and live,” Zero said. “But there are people who can’t live in that kind of world. In this world.”

She felt a pang of sadness. As much as he’d twisted that, he wasn’t completely wrong about that. Some people just couldn’t bear this world. Those were the same people she had sworn to protect. The ones that Yanagi, too, wanted to protect.

They couldn’t save anyone. Maybe this was it, maybe all they ever saved was each other. That didn’t mean she’d stop trying, no, but it was also enough for her. She’d helped free Yanagi, allowed him to face his fears and win. He had helped her face truths she never wanted to see, and she kept growing as a person with him.

Maybe it wasn’t much, but they’d still managed a small victory against the sorrow and malice in the world, one Zero might never understand but one she clung to with pride.

She took Yanagi’s hand. “We need to get you to the ambulance.”

He nodded, and together they walked away.


End file.
